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How it started....
The Compassionate Friends was founded in Coventry,
England, in 1969, following the deaths of two young boys, Billy
Henderson and Kenneth Lawley, the previous spring. Billy and Kenneth
had died just three days apart in the Coventry and Warwickshire
Hospital where Rev. Simon Stephens was Assistant to the Chaplain.
Simon mentioned Billy's death to Iris and Joe Lawley, and the
Lawleys decided to send flowers to Billy's funeral. They signed the
card simply, "Kenneth's parents," realizing that the Hendersons
would know who they were.
Bill and Joan Henderson then invited
the Lawleys over for tea, and an immediate bond was formed as the
two couples spoke freely about their boys, sharing their memories
and the dreams that had died with Billy and Kenneth. They continued
to get together regularly, and young Rev. Stephens, then only 23,
encouraged them to invite other newly bereaved parents to join them.
In 1969, another grieving mother accepted their invitation to meet
with Simon and the two couples. They decided to organize as a
self-help group and actively begin reaching out to newly bereaved
parents in their community. Because the word "compassionate" kept
coming up, this new organization was called "The Society of the
Compassionate Friends."
Simon became a chaplain in the British
Royal Navy in the 70's. He was met by bereaved parents at ports
around the world, and he helped them to develop their own chapters.
TCF had become well-known through U.K. and U.S.A. editions of such
magazines as Time and Good Housekeeping. Paula and Arnold Shamres of
Florida read Simon's interview in Time Magazine and invited him to
visit them in Florida and speak to bereaved parents there. He did,
and the Shamres subsequently founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972.
Word of the organization spread rapidly through interest generated
by the Phil Donahue Show and the columns of Dear Abby and Ann
Landers.
The Compassionate Friends was incorporated in the
United States as a non-profit organization in 1978.
In 1989, The
Compassionate Friends of Great Britain dedicated a plaque
commemorating the founding of the organization, at the Coventry and
Warwickshire Hospital where TCF had begun. The plaque was unveiled
by their patron, Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved parent.
Then in November, 1994, Queen Elizabeth presented Iris Lawley
with a medal, The Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, in
recognition of her work on behalf of TCF.
There are now
Compassionate Friends chapters in every state in the United
States—almost 600 altogether—and hundreds of chapters in Canada,
Great Britain and other countries throughout the world. In the
United States, chapters are open to all bereaved parents, siblings,
grandparents and other family members who are grieving the death of
a child of any age, from any cause.
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